June 25, 2015KR BlogBlogCurrent EventsEnthusiamsWriting

Pure Applesauce

When President Obama signed the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act in 2010, I wrote a silly jingle to commemorate the moment. Today, the Supreme Court affirmed the constitutionality of the law; in a dissenting opinion, Antonin Scalia resorted to some silliness himself. He called the reasoning behind the majority’s decision “pure applesauce”; he described one interpretive point as “jiggery-pokery.” Applesauce manufacturers must be dancing a jig of their own; I’m suddenly (really, truly) craving the purée. And writers of light verse are happier still. Jiggery-pokery! The starting gun to the double dactyl! The most potent new poetry form of the past seventy years! Thanks, Justice Nino. We knew we could count on you.

***

On Such a Day, Let’s Laugh in Dactyls

“The Court’s next bit of interpretive jiggery-pokery in­volves other parts of the Act that purportedly presuppose the availability of tax credits on both federal and state Exchanges.” – King v. Burwell dissenting opinion

“Jiggery-pokery
Scaredy-cat justices
Ramming their SCOTUScare
Right down our throats!”

Quoth the majority:
“HA-ha-ha-HA-ha-ha!
Sorry, Scalia; you
Don’t have the votes.”