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Jono Tosch’s Oil Changes

Poet Jono Tosch would be ideally suited to author a blog dedicated to oil changes, but such a project would suffer from infrequent updates–one post every three months, if Jiffy Lube had any say in the matter. Worse, such blog would, for want of content, have to resort to more expensive (and less vital) Jiffy Lube services. A full transmission flush, for instance. I’m not sure anyone needs that.

That said, Tosch’s blog Oil Changes is thankfully not a blog rumination on engine health. Rather, it’s Tosch’s cooking journal and chronicle of domestic travail. Oil Changes has been a delight to read since its inception this past July, and I implore all to incorporate it into their internet diets.

Latest on Tosch’s menu was a “bacon sarnie,” the cooking and consumption of which was occasioned by a stack of papers Tosch was tasked with grading.

Tosch looks for, and finds, far more in a sandwich than ingredients and their subsequent taste in combination. And he describes the sandwich experience with witty sizzle:

A bacon sarnie? Oh yes, the old bacon sarnie. “Considered too plebeian to be found on the menus of high class restaurants” (Wikipedia, ‘Bacon Sandwich’), the bacon sarnie is nonetheless a classy little diablo when gussied up. But don’t look for any arugula here. This blogger will have none of that business. This is a bacon sandwich folks. Let’s not get too uppity about it.

The purist in me gussied up this bacon sarnie by pairing some nice, thick sliced, dry cured, center cut, “streaky” bacon, with a crusty, demi baguette. To keep it real, I applied some butter and ketchup to the toasted bun. There’s really nothing else to it. You get the good bacon, you cook it right; you get the good bread, you toast it right; and then you slap on some butter and ketchup. That’s it. You now have a sandwich that is rugged enough to plow through a dozen comparison/contrast essays, yet sophisticated enough to keep you from feeling like an under-paid dunce.

This is a sandwich that fortifies, that turns mere human into grammar plow, that gives one courage to face untold syntactic misfortunes and remain, at grading’s end, whole. I may have not consumed this exact sandwich, but I know of what sustenance Tosch writes. And across this continent, thousands of frugal adjunct instructors do too.